72 hours of resolutions....

Tonight I’m celebrating my own New Years....

That’s right.... 4 nights early.....

Tomorrow I will embark on my first timed adventure....

72 hours of unknown.....

I may or may not be trained enough....

Leaning more towards the may not....

I am in no way in the best shape of my life....

But I am drawing from something much deeper....

A resolve to become better....

A better version of who I am at this exact moment....

I’ve been feeling this change coming for months now....

The dissatisfaction with where my life was sitting currently.

The need to grow....

To become more...

Better...

To laugh more...

To love more...

To bring joy to more people....

To let go of the negativity that has found me in recent months...

The weight that drags you down...

So....

This year my resolutions are simple...

And I’m on my way....

Starting tomorrow...

I resolve to become a better version of me...

To love without restrictions...

To support without wavering...

To be a person worthy of trust...

To respect and value those around me...

To be open to learning...

To continue to grow in my nutrition goals...

To commit to my training plan currently mapped out...

And to embrace the training and leadership of the many amazing runners who are so willing to give guidance......

To be a better daughter and sister....

And to live the year with no regrets.

I believe 100% in my heart that this best new life will start tomorrow...

That this race has brought me to this moment....

Or maybe this moment has brought me to this race....

And as I take my first steps....

Struggle through the walls... the highs and lows....

Each breath I will dedicate to building a better me....

To digging deep... moving forward when I want to stop....

Embracing the moments of pain and letting go when I need to...

To finding that inner calm... and embracing all that is there...

The memories... the anger and fears... the hurt and rejections...

To confront each head on... and burn through them... releasing each burden...

Lightening my emotional load...

It is said to make a change you must be open.... you must be willing...

You must be ready....

Hello Change.... I am waiting for you.... I am ready!

The art of not finding a man at the gym....

I've traded in my outside shoes for a treadmill....
Now, before you judge, hear me out....
I'm a true Canadian girl... born in Alberta, suffered through years of Saskatchewan winters....
Heck... at -36 with 5 feet of snow my sister and I would stand outside to see if our farts gave off steam...
You don't get any more Canadian then that...
So to me... trading my outdoor runs for some indoor training is not a bad thing.. rather an opportunity to shake things up...
to train body parts I've neglected...
To bring back spin classes...
And weight training....
And some human interaction....
After months of training on the trails alone...
(When I wasn't with my core group of girls of course)....
I find the interactions at the gym somewhat amusing....
To give you the whole image I need to set the scene properly....
You see, I'm a push yourself as hard as you can....
See yourself sweat,
And don't stop until you are lying on the floor with nothing left to give type girl....
When I set up a circuit I do it right....
I kill myself to beat times and weights each time I re-visit an old circuit....
I figure if your not pushing yourself... who is?
I believe that the gym is a place you go to sweat...
To make terrible noises and smells....
To look like your been dragged through the depths of hell and back....
And today is a perfect example of such beauty....
I took the time to wear one of my cute running skirts... because after yesterday's spin class and today's
leg circuit... my sticks were looking amazing....
That was where the cuteness ended...
A ratty Tech T, a head band and a fresh face sans make-up (covered in salt from circuit training) graced the treadmill....
And I set forth to do some intense interval training....
with the intention of spending the night at home....
I opted to go hard.
I set my top speed .5 above my personal fastest interval speed... and then to really test myself I thought... why not add .5 more... 1 full level above my personal best....
Starting with my 2 minute warm up, a dude in a light blue polo shirt (with a collar) steps on the treadmill beside me.... Muscles straining against his tight shirt.... Perfect hat seated just so on his head....
Shiny new shoes.... not a hair out of place....
What do I care...
I'm here to train....
Not inform people that it's time they buy a bigger sized t-shirt....
The time hits the 1:55 mark and I hit my interval button... the treadmill takes off....
My legs are flying....
My arms are pumping....
Sweat is flying....
I'm certain I'm grunting.... or whimpering....depending on how you look at it...
Mr. Cool looks over at me, stops his treadmill and moves 4 over....
Inside I'm peeing with laughter....
But I don't have time to stop...
I'm flying and it takes concentration....
First set done....
I take a 90 second recovery...
Did you know in 90 seconds you can really let your eyes wander...
There is the perky blonde in the teensy tank top on the elliptical....
The girl with the bouncy brunette pony tail....
Not a lick of sweat on her brow...
The group of guys chilling by one of the weight contraptions...
Admiring the girl in the booty shorts as she delicately lifts her  5 lbs weight.....
Speed goes up.....
Bouncy hair girl looks my way....
Eye contact even....
And in revulsion looks away....
Pretty people come and go as I begin to feel the fatigue set in....
Perfect little outfits...
Perfect hair...
Not a single one of them letting off any odor that might be remotely close to how I smell....
My legs keep pumping...
The sweat keeps pouring...
And I realize...
I am the only person in this crazy place that actually showed up to work out...
It's like being in some horrible dating pool...
and I realize....
If that's the case and I'm to find my prince charming at the gym...
He better be looking for a salt covered, sweat producing, smelly fighting machine!
Because this girl is not about to change her ways....
The gym is a place to change your body...
To test your limits....
To dig deep and fight....
And that is exactly what I'm going to keep on doing!

Eat... Train... Sleep.... and Laugh....

Tomorrow starts a new week...
A time to re-group...
And make some more changes as I strive towards my next goal....
It's scary to put your goals in writing....
But I believe it makes them real....
On this journey to my next adventure I have many hurdles to overcome....
Which at times may prove to be overwhelming....
But I have 100% faith I will reach and surpass them....
So what did I do to prepare you may ask???
I drank the last 5 beers from my pantry....
Yep....
Step one... remove the booze....
That was the fun part....
Step two left my kitchen in shambles....
Actually...
It's still in shambles....
With a freezer full of amazing vegan meals....
Portioned....
Packed with flavour and protein....
A crisper drawer loaded with baggies of portioned fresh veggies...
A beautiful apple, grape and pomegranate salad.....
And a deadly Kale Salad.....
And a body that is probably the most sore it has ever been after facing Death By Gail on Saturday....
And a Tempo run today....
But I'm still moving....
After being encouraged by so many people who actually take the time to read my strange thoughts...
I thought why not take this private journey and share it a little more than I'm particularly comfortable with....
I keep my personal goals just that... personal...
Despite public opinion... I'm painfully shy....
So opening up takes a lot of work...
It's a big step....
So much so it took me 6 months to actually admit to people outside my core 5 my goal race of 2103...
To put in writing for complete strangers the fact that I plan on loosing 15-20 lbs by December 29...
In order to complete my minimum distance goal of 125 miles in 72 hours....
Well..... it's down right scary....
But there it is in black and white...
So how am I going to accomplish this in 2 short months?
Well...
So far the plan looks like this....
90% Vegan diet....
Clean Vegan... not Oreo Cookie Vegan.... Not that I have a problem with Oreo Cookies....
No alcohol for the duration of the plan....
And now here is the real kicker....
I'm relaxing on my running....
Yep....
Gone are the  long slow distances....
The 6 hour tours.....
I'm switching it up to a circuit/boot-camp/spin till you puke program....
If I learned anything form Gail's Death Camp... my core is non-existent....
My upper body is even worse....
And from Marks All Terrain (aka spin till you puke).... Well... I lack the ability to keep a fast pace for a long period of time... I'm a wimp to be honest...
I have a solid base...
My legs are super strong....
So now it's time to work on the rest of my body... the parts I've been neglecting for the past 2 years because well... lets face it... we work on the things that come easy....
Working my legs is easy....
Working my core well.... just sucks....
Yet, a great man recently told me (and a group of newbie runners)....
To increase your speed you must work your core....
Sooooo.... as painful as it is before, during and especially after.... I will be working my core...
Not to say there will not be any long runs tossed in....
Let's face it...
My legs need love too....
So tomorrow....
We keep moving forward....
No matter how much my body protests....
Because our next rest day isn't until Friday....
Eat... Train... Sleep.... and Laugh....
Sounds like a fun adventure to me!

Rigamortis and Raffi.....

The walls around me are a horrid neon pea green...
The room smells...
The florescent lights give off an eerie glow...
As I lay here dying on the thin black mat...
Smelling like something rotting....
A pile of steaming.... funky.... pink flesh....
Praying for it to end....

It all started with a simple mistake.....
You know the kind...
And innocent thought...
Leading to an action...
That leads to instant horror...
And eventually...After the tears and gallon of wine...
The resolve to move forward....
Which in this case has left me praying for death...
Laying in agony in a heap on a stale hardwood floor....
On a thin black mat....
Surrounded by mostly strangers....
I'm at the end of a journey....
That took a short 2.5 hours....
Somewhere along the way....
Between the Spinning... and backwards baby crawling I cracked....
Unable to do the simple movements of elbow to knee....
Crawling backwards...
The theme song for the Itsy Bitsy spider blaring through my mind...
Over and over and over....
UP the water spout..... Dooooooown came the rain....
And Up the water spout.... Dooooown came the rain...
And up the water spout....
Make it stop......

Delirium.....
(Interesting side note: For anyone ever wondering just what goes on in my head after 10 minutes of running..... Raffi.... Tons and Tons of Raffi....)

Relief comes in the form of a plank hover....
Finally.....
I can lay on my mat....
And as the rest of the group "hovers"...
I Make my ever so non-existent core as tight as possible....
But no matter what I do....
My body just lays there....
Like a lump on a mat...
With rigamortis setting in....
A rotting mass of petrified flesh...
Attempting to hover....
Praying for it to end....
With a round of voices singing over and over....
The itsy bitsy spider.....
All because of a single action....
One solitary moment...
That cannot be undone...
Forgotten....
Moved past....
For every action...
Requires a re-action....
And a solution to move forward and make it better.....
So the next time you decide to throw out the scale and live by measurements alone....
Be warned....
The itsy bitsy spider will be coming for you....

Moments....

It’s in the first few moments...

The first chords....

The sound of a silky voice over guitar....

And I’m somewhere else....

My heart is sitting in a hot tub with giant snowflakes falling around....

Crisp Fall air...

The 3 sisters framed by a clear blue sky....

Rundle towering over the town site....

My legs feel the fatigue of a long adventure....

I can feel the tug in my heart...

The romance lost so long ago....

Feeling so fresh and new....

The moments stolen in front of the fireplace....

Soft lips...

A warm hug...

Sparkling eyes and laughter....

The friendship...

Trusted and true....

The Magic of feeling loved....

As Ryan Starr sings the last lines... “I think that I’ve fallen out of love with you...”

The moment ends...

The heart heals....

And I realize....

Some moments will always be cherished...

The heart will love again....

But somewhere...

In the deep corner will be a memory...

A cherished moment...

A loved soul...

Held frozen in time....

Never truly to be forgotten.

Day 1

Day one....
Or at least that's how it feels....
After taking a 2 week break to let my body "heal" from my last adventure....
I'm back at it....
I have a hard time explaining what 2 weeks off does to a person....
From the pits of despair....
The lowest of lows....
You must once again crawl to the surface.....
Find your passion...
your drive.....
No runner will seriously place a self imposed "break" on them selves....
Oh sure we all say we are "resting" but in reality... we are just creatively finding new alternatives...
My last "rest" break found me tossing my two bikes into the back of my car and seeking adventure in the form of 60+km rides... and chocolate covered sea foam....
All because I was "resting"....

We all rest from time to time....
But that is just it "resting"......
Never the dreaded "RESTING"
It sucks....
The moment you realize you are being "punished" for being awesome....
A light switches in your head....
Instead of having an outlet for your awesome....
You now have a fridge...
A couch....
And an appetite to cannot be quenched....
Which brings me back to day one....
The first solid day back after 2 weeks...
A muscle tear in my quad...
And a pinched nerve in my lumbar from sitting on my couch being awesome...
(or as the famous Dr. Dan says "over achieving").....

I am once again... sitting on my couch....
After 90 minutes of torture from my dear friend Mark... the All Terrain demon....
and a 4hour adventure with Lina exploring the trails...
Seeing parts of the city very few ever see....
Yes... I'm sitting on my couch.....
Revelling in the awesome that is day 1....
With the lunch packed.. the circuit planned...
The run mapped for tomorrows adventure....
And the days to come....
Yes....
I'm once again sitting on my couch...."resting"
Mostly because I'm just too Damn tired to do the bum slide up the stairs my legs require of me to do....
Gotta Love Day 1!

Running Melissa's....

It’s like a whole new experience...

Racing alone....

After a season of running, with friends....

Seeing a smiling face around the next corner....

A warm hug and a word or two of encouragement to keep you going....

Or just some good old heart to hear girl chat as your whittle the miles away....

Yes...

It’s a whole new...

Yet familiar experience....

And after such a spoiled summer I realized there were so many things you forget....

You forget how it feels to pack the night before... no one to ask where the heck your going....

You forget that there is no real pre-race excitement....

Just you... your running shoes... and a half-way built plan of parking....

You forget what it’s like to dress in layers on a chilly morning....

Without much of a plan as to how you will shed and store them....

The feeling of being lost at the corrals....

Wandering aimlessly until its time to “line up”....

Praying no one realizes you are alone....

You forget what it’s like to have an unexpected hug at the start line....

The sting of tears that follow....

How nice it is to sit yourself next to a “pace bunny” and learn all you can about your new friend....

As you wind your way through the streets with 1000 other warm bodies....

All with the same goal.... just to finish....

You forget the pain in your legs....

The sound of your own feet on the pavement....

You forget all the little things that should weigh your down...and you start to focus on the finish line....

You forget the distance left... the miles past.... the fatigue setting in..... and you run....

And as you finish....

With the support and cheers of those who finished before you.....

Those waiting for loved ones...

You forget that you are alone....

And you look forward to the next moment....

The next race....

The next run.....

Where you can let loose.... and just forget....