Doesn't play well with others

It came to me tonight on my drive home...
I'm alone...
I kinda like being alone...
In my ordered world of Chaos.
Don't get me wrong...
I love being with people....
I love to laugh and have fun...
I love being trusted and valued...
I'm human after all...
But I've come to notice something else...
I like my version of ordered chaos that I live in...
I'm not good at sharing that space....
I get tense...
Panic set's in...
My perfect little world that I have created...
To work in...
To thrive in...
Is no longer my own...
I guess that is what makes me a good runner... the time alone in my world...
To have peace...

Tonight...
My world has once again been disrupted...
When my precious blog..
My outlet...
Has been lost to me...
I recently changed emails..
I changed brokerages actually...
So the password to my old email has now been changed...
I'm ok with that.
I knew it was coming...
And I did my best to prepare...
I sent out yelps for help on the ever handy "google Blog spot" help forum...
To no response...
You cannot change your email...
Therfore my work..
My passion is gone...
It is mere word's that I can no longer access...

I can look at them from the outside...
Just as the rest of the world does now...
and I feel the panic setting in....