Lessons in 41F and 10Miles

Today was what I would consider my first day of vacation...
Yes I've been in Florida for 4 day's....
Yes technically my vacation started Saturday when I turned my phone off to run 70K....
but today....
Today was the first day I spent...
Just being me....
Doing what I loved...
Which is nothing more than exploring a new city.... reading a great book...
drinking amazing wine...
And thinking about work....
How I can be better...
What new systems I will implement when I return....
What new books I should buy to inspire and learn from....
Yes...
This is vacation....
It's also the very first day my feet felt healed enough to take a walk....
My left foot managed to get a wee bit of an infection on the bottom foot pad following my race...
But that is a whole other blog post....
Today...
In the sweltering heat...
I walked....
And melted...
And walked....
And melted...
And walked....
And melted some more....
I needed space...
I needed to clear my mind and to process...
So naturally I did what any runner does...
I laced up...
This vacation has left me really looking at my life...
My expectations of others...
And questioning my free trusting spirit.....
I was left wondering...
Am I really so foolish....
Did I not understand....
And where do I go from here....
I came to Florida to visit an old friend...
Someone who I felt a bond similar to family...
Someone I trusted enough to respect my needs for myself...
To give me space...
And to make no demands in any way other than friendship....
And tonight from my hotel room...
I can tell you....
After a long walk in the sweltering heat...
A walk which my Right hip is not forgiven me for yet....
I realized....
nothing in this life comes without a price.
There is a fee to everything that you touch.....
friendship...
relationships...
work....
family...
each on comes with a price....
and at some point you have to know what you are willing to pay....
Is it worth the price...
or should you walk away...
knowing there is nothing more you can do.... or at least nothing more you can do without compromising your values....
I truly believe...
because I have found it in so many....
That I am someone who is worthy of being respected...
Valued and cherished....
These are my hearts desires...
I will not settle for less...
for I know that I deserve so much more...
because as a friend... a sister...a daughter...
I offer more....
And I'm proud to be able to do that....
It is because of those...
The select few...
Who I am comfortable enough with to let myself relax with..
That I have come to realize what being valued and cherished means....
It's because of those few...
that I had that courage to stand up for myself and find a cozy...cheap hotel to start my vacation from....
So to you...
who have loved me..
Who have been my friends...
My trusted companions..
My confidants...
Thank you....
Thank you you for showing me that I am worth so much more....
You have made my life sparkle...
And I am forever grateful....

63... in a sea of 150.....

It's one of those moments where you take a breath...
panic....
and think HOLY CRAP what have I done....
The next thought is...
Did I train enough for this?
What was I thinking....
and Finally...
Wow.... the tech T's are really cute this year....
I'm number 63... in a sea of other racers. 150 Runners to be exact....
From teams to soloist's, every age shape and gender is represented....
and I am number 63.....
Female Soloist....
36 years old...
My first Ultra....
50 Miles.... and one really large hill....

Maybe there is some magic in the age and my racing number....
How they magically mirror each other....
Or maybe it's me spinning an old wives tale....
Either way... it brings me comfort....
This is a race against myself... to see just how far I can go...
To experience something that less than 1% of the population will ever experience...
to do something that I can be proud of....

Yet, This journey has not be on my own...As I look over the past 8 months I can see the sacrifice and encouragement of those around me.
My parents sending me little text's... My Dad once telling me, after my first 1/2 of the season, that I had officially run further than he....
My dogs... who looked so longingly each time I laced up without them... and Jade... for all the runs she pulled me through...
My Friends... So many of you... D, Em, B, Wayne, the Sin Skirts.... Those of you who pushed my training just a little further....
The ones who inspired... the Hiro's, Tracy's, Jon's, Jack's and Ian's in my life.....
The ones who healed... Shirley, Dan, Janice.....
My Work Team... who have become my work family.... The support, the love, the encouragement... and the crazy face book post's... for calling me the warrior princess... and telling me I'm crazy.... but mostly for stepping up to the plate so I could go play on the trails.... and for loving me no matter how nutty I became....
Yes this journey has not been alone.... no matter how many miles I logged running in the shadow's.... in the wee hours of the morning..... chasing silly trails, streets,  hill's... and dream's... I have come to realize... I have never dreamed alone....

Tomorrow at 3am my alarm will go off.... and I will prepare to face one of the stupidest... craziest... hardest adventures of my life to this date.... and I know that I will not once be alone.... no matter how hard it gets... not matter what my mind says... no matter how tired or sore... I know somewhere at that moment someone will be thinking about me... and yelling... LISA YOU ARE STILL CRAZY..... but YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH.....
And at that finish line... when I dance my ass under the banner, and pop that bottle of French Champagne.... I know you will all feel me celebrate.... if even for a moment....
And in that moment... although it may not be at the forefront.... I know I will silently be sharing and celebrating and thanking each one of you... who supported... laughed at... loved... encouraged... and pulled me through.....

And together... we will be an ULTRA......