Lessons in 41F and 10Miles

Today was what I would consider my first day of vacation...
Yes I've been in Florida for 4 day's....
Yes technically my vacation started Saturday when I turned my phone off to run 70K....
but today....
Today was the first day I spent...
Just being me....
Doing what I loved...
Which is nothing more than exploring a new city.... reading a great book...
drinking amazing wine...
And thinking about work....
How I can be better...
What new systems I will implement when I return....
What new books I should buy to inspire and learn from....
Yes...
This is vacation....
It's also the very first day my feet felt healed enough to take a walk....
My left foot managed to get a wee bit of an infection on the bottom foot pad following my race...
But that is a whole other blog post....
Today...
In the sweltering heat...
I walked....
And melted...
And walked....
And melted...
And walked....
And melted some more....
I needed space...
I needed to clear my mind and to process...
So naturally I did what any runner does...
I laced up...
This vacation has left me really looking at my life...
My expectations of others...
And questioning my free trusting spirit.....
I was left wondering...
Am I really so foolish....
Did I not understand....
And where do I go from here....
I came to Florida to visit an old friend...
Someone who I felt a bond similar to family...
Someone I trusted enough to respect my needs for myself...
To give me space...
And to make no demands in any way other than friendship....
And tonight from my hotel room...
I can tell you....
After a long walk in the sweltering heat...
A walk which my Right hip is not forgiven me for yet....
I realized....
nothing in this life comes without a price.
There is a fee to everything that you touch.....
friendship...
relationships...
work....
family...
each on comes with a price....
and at some point you have to know what you are willing to pay....
Is it worth the price...
or should you walk away...
knowing there is nothing more you can do.... or at least nothing more you can do without compromising your values....
I truly believe...
because I have found it in so many....
That I am someone who is worthy of being respected...
Valued and cherished....
These are my hearts desires...
I will not settle for less...
for I know that I deserve so much more...
because as a friend... a sister...a daughter...
I offer more....
And I'm proud to be able to do that....
It is because of those...
The select few...
Who I am comfortable enough with to let myself relax with..
That I have come to realize what being valued and cherished means....
It's because of those few...
that I had that courage to stand up for myself and find a cozy...cheap hotel to start my vacation from....
So to you...
who have loved me..
Who have been my friends...
My trusted companions..
My confidants...
Thank you....
Thank you you for showing me that I am worth so much more....
You have made my life sparkle...
And I am forever grateful....