I am an athlete.....
I can say it...
And I can believe it.... at least I can now....
How I came to this point of understanding its an interesting journey....
Before I go much further...
I want to explain...
I am blessed with an amazing family....
Supportive, fun loving parents....
Who are my friends as well as my mentors....
I've got 2 great sisters....
And two fantastic brother-in laws....
I also have 3 of the most athletic.....
amazing....
nieces and nephews.....
The talent and natural ability they have for sports is a true gift...
They are focused...determined... and dedicated.....
And none of my family understand my obsession for running....
My sisters and I were never the athletic type...
Heck I was the choir president....
can you hear that fat lady singing yet?
As children we moved...
often...
The curse of being a bankers daughter....
I never was involved in organized sport's as most of our moves took place over the summer....
I never learned to rules of basketball...
Developed the coordination needed for baseball...
Skinned my knee's playing soccer....
I never felt the thrill of scoring the game winning goal...
I was an un-athlete....
The type of person who was soft around the edges....(and the middle)
Who was picked close to last for gym teams....
And who never got passed the ball....
Unless by accident.....
The proverbial bench warmer....
And I was totally accepting of that...
until now....
You see.... It was almost exactly 4 years ago that I found myself facing yet another divorce...
Failure....
Again....
And it was almost 4 years ago that once again I found my passion for running...
The freedom of the trail...
The healing power the mountains provided....
To a broken shell of a woman...
A woman who had been repeatedly told... and shown by the man she loved that she was useless...
Nothing....
Worthless....
It was on those trails....
That I found myself...
My strength and my sense of value again....
And that healing turned into a new life....
Countless trail races....
A passion for cycling....
A re-newed passion for weight training....
And plans for some of the biggest Ultras I could attempt this early in my running career....
Yet somehow I never thought of myself as an athlete....
Until a recently....
When two of my favorite people said 2 very different thing's...
It was Friday night date night with my parents...
Talking about the grand kids and the sports that are doing...
And just how amazing they are...
The talk of scholarships already for my little niece....
My oldest nephew rocking out the wrestling...
And the littlest one... who came out of the womb with a hockey stick in his hand....
He may be the littlest on the team... but he's the fastest... and he is awesome!
and in that conversation the words were uttered by my dad... "We have no idea where they get their athleticism from, because we are certainly lacking that gene...."
Shortly there after my mom started mourning the loss of my slender leg's to my running....
How they used to be so nice and thin....I've lost that ever since I started running....
As I drove home after dinner I started thinking to myself....
You know,
I've been so focused on getting lean... losing weight...
Being the perfect size...
That I didn't realize in all my training...
Just how wonderful my body had become....
I Love my leg's....
I love how in the past 5 week's my quads are once again developing this amazing ridge running up the outside of my leg....without flexing.....
I love the fact that my calves are bigger than most men's... stronger... and solid....
I love the roundness and firmness of my butt.... the kind that can only come from countless squats and lunges....
I love the small amount of definition I'm starting to see in my arm's after just a few short weeks of weight training..
The way my pecs have brought lift back to my ample bosom....
And the fact that I can rock out 2 hours on a spin bike, and still go back for more...
I love knowing that these leg's are going to carry me 100 miles to that finish line....
I love the feeling of waking up and having every muscle in my body scream at me....
And then the fluid lax feeling those same angry muscles have after an intense session of interval training....
The way my quads quiver like jack hammers after a session at the stairs...
Yes....
I may not have the athletes body....
But I have something even more valuable...
I have the athletes heart...
The mind set...
The focus and determination....
And that little mix of crazy that puts me in an ultra class of my own.....
And as I visualize myself crossing that finish line I have finally come to realize....
I AM an athlete
So the next time I see a girl in a pair of skinny jeans and I long for her flat stomach....
I'll take a moment to consider that my quads and calves wouldn't even fit in both of those skinny leg's combined.... and I will feel strong... confident and sexy....
And then I will giggle as I watch those twigs walk away.....
Because athletes understand that true beauty comes from large calves... quivering thighs....
And the ability to dig deep and finish the race....
And i will tell myself....
I AM an athlete......
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