Saturday, February 15, 2014

When the numbers fail


Friday.....
The most feared day....
A day of truth.....
Naked...
Brutal...
Honest....
Truth....
No hiding....
No lies....
No, one more bite, I’ll work it off tomorrow....
Fridays tell the naked, naked truth....
Of success...
Of failure...
Of honest weeks, and sinful moments....
Fridays....
I started this program 2 months ago.....
Strict, clean eating....
Training....
And naked Fridays....
This week I looked to Friday with excitement.
I had upped my training intensity.
I had major successes in the gym and in the conditioning class I joined....
My diet had been flawless....
And I knew.... Friday would bring me rewards....
Beyond imagination...
I was ready to blow my mentors mind with my numbers....
Inches lost....
Pounds melted away....
And then came Friday...
Without a change....
Except the pounds that added themselves to my weigh in...
The inches remaining stubbornly on my body....
Every muscle screaming, “We are sore.... and for what????”
My heart breaking a little as I sat down to write my weekly report....
An email filled with frustration....
The anger at being the fat girl...
The one who doesn’t take the moment to indulge with everyone else...
Who stay on the strict meal plans...
Who does her best to train with her whole heart...
To leave the gym...the trail... with nothing left...
100% spent....
The girl who took all wine out of her house to ensure there would be no temptations....
After a long morning of mentally defeating myself....
I realized....
I didn’t loose....
There was no defeat.....
The scale happens sometimes....
But this week....
I know...
I pushed harder....
I got stronger....
I got faster....
I found my vision again....
The belief in my goal....
My passion was re-ignited...
100 time over....
And as I prepare to get my ass handed to me in my “Dojoyoass” conditioning class I know....
I’m on target.....
I may never be a skinny girl.....
But I can be a strong woman...
A woman of endurance...
Self value....
And strong spirit....
So....
Even when the numbers may fail...
This athlete’s heart still wins....

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