Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Ghosts.....


BP’s....
Tropical Chicken pizza, with extra black olives and jalapenos.....
Crushed red peppershakers and Parm Cheese....
Not the real parm... oh no.... that’s not good enough....
The cheap powder that gets clumped up in the shaker.....
The largest glass of horrible red wine possible.....
While you’re at it.... Lets make that 2 glasses of red.... and a warm ginger cake chaser.....
Monday night wings.....
The crispy breaded salt and pepper kind...
With hot sauce and blue cheese for dipping....
A side Cesar salad.... with another LARGE glass of red wine....
Mini doughnuts with caramel sauce and powdered sugar.... more wine for dessert....
Enough to make you fuzzy around the edges....
Deep fried pickles and hot fudge Sundays.....
Beer.....
I’ve not had pizza.... my BP’s date in over 2 years.....
My Monday night Wings and wine in a full year
Dessert..... only a few times in this past year.....
It’s been over 18 months since I went vegetarian and 10 months Vegan....
Yet tonight....
As the snow swirled around....
I passed and old haunting of mine....
A few blocks from my loved (and often missed) little condo....
BP’s....
Pizza called my name as I recalled a night a few years back... where the roads were crappy....
The snow piling up....
And I pulled in for a personal pizza and wine....
It was there that I saw a future vision of myself....
Me with my nora roberts book waiting for my pizza.....
A woman... maybe 30 years older then me....
Shoulder length blonde hair....
Dressed up for a date....
A date with herself...
Wine....
And a book.....
As I got up to leave she stopped me....
Asked me if we knew each other....
Maybe she saw in me what I was seeing in her....
A vision of ourselves.....
In a different life...
A different stage.....
Still lonely.....
But not alone.....
I left that night not knowing the impact that vision would have on me....
How a few years later I would drive by that exact same spot....
Craving a taste of my old life....
And seeing a vision of what could be....
As I sit here at my kitchen table with my vegan pattie and salad long since gone....
I’m still feeling her hand on my arm...
The sad look in her eye....
And I recall the promise I made myself....
I may choose to live life single...
But I will never choose to live my life alone...

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