Embracing Change

they say change is inevitable...
Which could explain why I'm sitting on an air mattress in yet another new location... day dreaming about what tomorrow might hold....
Only this time... This new location belongs to me...
It'sf been almost a year to the day since I started the wheels in motion....
The realization that my life was either stalled... or just not where it should be at this point brought some serious contemplation...
and some drastic... and some what immediate action.
The decision to move back to Chicago was an easy one....
I've never really found that place in Edmonton... where I truly felt I belonged....
Chicago hold's my heart....
Memories....
and a future....
The hardest part about deciding to move back to Chicago....
Was decided to no move at all....
The gut wrenching sickness in that final decision....
The sadness at a dream lost....
The longing for the humid day's...
The smell of the south side....
The people....
And in that moment I made another drastic change...
Choosing my career over everything else....putting my faith.... my lively hood... and my trust in a person...a company I hardly knew....
Giving everything I had to carve a place for myself in this company....

Change comes once again....
In the ability to look at my mentor as a friend now...
And honestly say... it's time for me to alter my habits... to focus on me a little more so I can be more effective for you....
A time to reach out and let people in a little closer....
A time to face some of the items that I have been holding so tightly too...
Scared if I let them go my life will somehow.....change....

They say it takes time.... baby steps.... one foot in front of the other...
And so as I lay here tonight on my air mattress....
Looking out my new window....
I'm excited...
Nervous....
And curious....
About this Change....