The fine art of being totally confused....

I'm 36 years old....
In the past 4 years I've had 2 relationships...
Well.... essentially one relationship and one fumble....
I've heard it all....
Your too good for me...
You deserve better...
When I find someone better I hope you and I can still be friends....
(that one was one of the most shockingly creative)....
Your too focused on your career...
Your too intimidating....
Your time will come....
There is a guy out there for you....
Maybe you are meant to be single and fierce...
To be honest....
Being single didn't bother me near as much as it bothered those around me....
I'm unclear why a successful single woman is a threat...
Yes I had moments where I wondered why I wasn't good enough....
But 85% of the time I didn't even notice.....
And then in the midst of my mid life crisis...
There is someone...
A warm smile..
A kind heart...
And potential....
Beyond the amazing friendship that has become....
And I'm clueless....
In the past 4 years I've held 2 relationships...
Well.... essentially one relationship and one fumble....
And both of these have been long distance....
The kind where you see each other once every 3 weeks for 3ish day's...
And you spend that time together...
So how does one go about this dating thing?
Is there a rule book for how to not bumble a "thing"....
How to effectively transition from single... independent...
to something else...
Without becoming co-dependent?
Can you remain independent as a "couple"??
How do you squish this longing to spend every waking moment learning all you can about that person??
And how do you know your on the same path???
The same page of the journey....
Does it just somehow magically come together...
How does someone who throws herself into everything with reckless abandon slow down???
All these questions have me doubting the sanity of entering this strange world....
Yet on the other side is a smile...
A warm hug...
And a friendship that means the world....